Furuba Truth or Dare!
by Kanomi-Fro
Summary: I've kidnapped the Fruits Basket gang, and I'm making them play truth or dare! Tell me what you want, and I and Naked Pink Afro Dude will see that it happens! Sugar, Naked Pink Afro Dude, and total randomness all included!T for language or mature content
1. Chapter 1

Hello, all! Me (Kanomi-Fro) and Naked Pink Afro Dude kidnapped the Furuba characters and are holding them hostage!

**We're making them do something horrible… **

**WE'RE PLAYING TRUTH OR DARE! **

**Kyo: Do we **_**have**_** to?**

**Hatori: Yes, do we have to? **

**Kanomi-Fro: (looms over them holding a sledge hammer, surrounded by dark clouds) Yes, you do! (creepy smile spreads across face)**

**Tohru: This will be fun! **

**Naked Pink Afro Dude: (mimicking) THIS WILL BE FUUUUN! (flutters arms and stuffs face with sugar cubes) **

**Kanomi-Fro: I think you've had enough… (tries to pull bowl of sugar cubes away)**

**Naked Pink Afro Dude: (yanks bowl back to him in an animal-like manner, then continues stuffing sugar cubes) I'll tell you when I've had enough! (eye twitches dangerously, as dark clouds also surround his face)**

**Naked Pink Afro Dude: (licking bottom of sugar cube bowl) SOMEONE GET ME MORE SUGAAAR CUBES!**

**Tohru: Y-yes…I'll do it! **

**Yuki: Don't encourage him…**

**Naked Pink Afro Dude: (eyes widen into his pink afro) SUGAAAAAAAR!**

**Tohru: (pulls bowl of sugar cubes out of nowhere) Y-yes…h-here! I'm sorry, Sohma-kun, but he's really sc-scary! **

**Kanomi-Fro: Well, there you have it, pplz! The Furuba cast is at your every wish and command! Submit your demands (questions or dares) so Naked Pink Afro Dude and I can make sure they're met! And I PROMISE I won't ignore any questions/dares!**

**Ayame: Tune in next time, my little curmudgeons! **

**Yuki: Doesn't curmudgeon mean a grumpy old man? **

**Ayame: I don't know, but it's fun to say! CRUMUDGEON! (puts on very serious face and points to the sky)**

**Kyo: What the hell?!? What are you pointing at the sky for?!?**

**Ayame: Fly, my little curmudgeons! **

**Naked Pink Afro Dude: (begins flapping arms and slowly rises into the air, giving us all a sight of something we'd rather not see) UP, UP, AND AWAAAAYYYYY! **

**Kanomi-Fro: So…um…there we have it! I also promise more of that hyper craziness you know you love throughout the rest of the story!**

**So, tell me what you want!**


	2. Luvy Duvy Crap and Queerosexulars!

Kay, I have to be honest. If I don't get enough reviews, I really will just fill these things up with random meaningless shit like you're about to witness. I have the right amount of hyperness and insanity to fill up fifty chapters the way I'm doing this one. I can and will (if I don't get more demands)!

**Kanomi-Fro: Okay, guys! We have one request! **

**Naked Pink Afro Dude: (still eating sugar cubes) Only one? (disappointed) **

**Kanomi-Fro: I'm afraid so. But, you can't expect much the day after Christmas! **

**Yuki: (sarcastically) Too bad…**

**Kanomi-Fro: Yes, but we'll enjoy it just the same! **

**Shigure: What does it say already? (he enjoys this, because he knows that no one will try to torment him, so he can just sit back and watch) **

**Kanomi-Fro: (clears throat) Yes, this is from **_**KyokoHonda49:**_

LUV IT! um...ya. lol . 

So anyways...

this is 4 kyo...(in a wonderfull singing voice)I DARE KYO AND YUKI TO SWICH CLOTHES!

...and if he chooses truth, he has to edmit his love to Tohru(we all know he loves her T.T..soo sad, lol)

and Kyo its not like i hate you or anything...i just like experamenting with things.

(like finding different ways to destory my sister's barbies.)

GO YEAR OF THE CAT! and i think that is about it. Chow

Kyo: (turning very red at the "we all know he loves her" part)

Kanomi-Fro: So, what's it gonna be, Kyo?

Yuki: If it's for Kyo, why does it have to involve me?

Kanomi-Fro: For all the fangirls' we have reading and their mental viewing pleasures!

Shigure: Why do they always go after the gay ones?

Yuki: I'M NOT GAY!

Shigure: So you say…

Yuki: Yes, because I'm NOT.

Momiji: That's right!

Yuki: Thank you!

Momiji: Yuki's a queer-o-sexular!

Hatori: Ignoring the homophobia and improper labeling, what's the difference?

Momiji: Queer-o-sexulars like boys and ferrets!

Kyo: (laughing hysterically) Well, what about that? Yuki's coming out of the closet!

Yuki: I am not!

Ayame: So you're keeping you're queer-o-sexuality a secret, then?

Yuki: No! I-

Ayame: Then you're coming out of the closet! Hooray for Yuki! We shall have a mass celebration! A "queer-o-sexualar open-ness ceremony"! And I, your ever-loving older brother, will design everyone's outfits! And we'll invite some children from your highschool! And some ferrets…yes, ferrets…

Yuki: (injecting some sort of knock-out drug from a needle into Ayame) Well, then. That takes care of that.

Momiji: You'll never meet a nice ferret with that attitude!

Yuki: I'm NOT a queer-o-sexular! I don't like boys or ferrets!

Tohru: So, would a gay ferret technically be a queer-o-sexular?

Momiji: (lost in thought) I think so…

Haru: What if a strait girl likes ferrets?

Momiji: She'd be a queer-o-sexular, too.

Kanomi-Fro: (as Haru, Momiji, and Tohru discuss the specifics of queer-o-sexuality) We'll leave them to their discussion. They're not involved with the dare.

Yuki: (nervously) Kyo, what's your decision?

Kyo: Er…um…

Tell Tohru I love her…get naked with Yuki…Tell Tohru I love her…get naked with Yuki…wait, that sounds wrong! Not like that…but which one? Is it worth it?

Kyo: Okay…the second one.

Kanomi-Fro: Well, then?

Kyo: (intrudes on Tohru's conversation about queer-o-sexuality) Um…Tohru?

Tohru: Yes, Kyo-Kun?

Kyo: (puts hand behind head nervously) I…I love you!

Tohru: I love you, too, Kyo-kun!

Kyo: (head perks up) Really? I thought you liked Yuki, though?

Tohru: I did, but then I found out about his queer-o-sexuality!

Yuki: (shaking in anger) I AM NOT A QUEER-O-SEXULAR!

Tohru: Plus, he has denial issues!

Kyo: Well, then…this has been quite a productive evening!

Shigure: Kyo knows big words…who knew?

Kyo: Shutup, you stupid dog!

Tohru: (shouting, while being whisked off into sunset in Kyo's arms. Even though it's actually 11:44 pm) Tune in next time, everyone! Thanks for reading! And submit your own reviews for more story, kay?

Naked Pink Afro Dude: (holds bubble gun to computer screen, while wearing cowboy hat, with angry expression) TUNE.IN.NEXT.TIME. OR ELSE!

Yuki: Don't threaten them…

Naked Pink Afro Dude: (holds gun to Yuki's head) I'VE GOT A HOSTAGE! I'VE GOT A HOSTAGE!

Kanomi-Fro: Okay, then…for Yuki's well being, review and tune in next time!


	3. Lip gloss and Mary Poppins!

Kanomi-Fro: Wow, we have five reviews for this chapter!

Naked Pink Afro Dude: (eating away at solid block of sugar) READ IT!

Ayame: Please allow me to read it in my glorious booming voice!

Kanomi-Fro: yeah, whatever.

Ayame: (does brief preview of happy dance) Let's see, this is from _LateNightWriter:_

_Okay my turn!_

I got one planed just for Yuki!

Dare: You have to go out with Machi! Take her somewhere romantic.

Truth: Do you like flavored lip gloss? (Ayame reading in whisper voice for this part, so as not to reach Yuki's ears.) _(Don't tell him this part: If he says yes, ask if he is gay or a girl or does he just eat it!)_

Kanomi-Fro: This should be fun! (waves hand using other worldly powers to make Machi appear out of nowhere)

Machi: (half asleep) What am I doing here?

Yuki: Eh…will you go out on a date with me?

Machi: (slightly flustered) Okay. Where to?

Yuki: Er…that is…(thinking)

Ayame: (cutting in rudely) You will go to a French restaurant! One with candles and violins and FERRETS! And _I,_ your ever-loving older brother, will be your humble chauffer!

Yuki: Um…okay. (Walks out with Machi while Ayame tags behind to drive them.)

Kanomi-Fro: (pouting slightly at her lost love) Okay…time for our next one! This is from _KyokoHonda49_:

_a queer-o-sexular...lol. ya, thanks 4 usein meh stuff. ya. lol. ok, i gots another one..well 2._

i dare Hana-chan to wear pink, or she has to not eat meat 4 a week...um and there is no truth, because i cant think of a good one 4 her. ya,

anyways next, i dare Miss Akii-chan to actually wear girl clothes. 4 truth, um...she has to admit her deepest darkest secreat 2 everyone. ya. and

Hi Kyo, im a fan of urs (as u know), (not yuki's, sorry)uh, ya oh, and by the way, i saw a vote 4 like fav people (4 fruits basket)and stuff, VOTE RESULTS Kyo #1, Tohru #2, Yuki #3, Hatori #4, Haru #5, ect. u win, so ya u did beat yuki at something, being the most popular, in america (america is bigger than japan .

Kyo: (shouting excitedly) What? I beat Yuki at something?

Kanomi-Fro: yes, but unfortunately, there's no proof seeing as no one in the manga can crane their neck to see the side columns.

Kyo: (pouting in corner) not fair…not fair at all…

Kanomi-Fro: Okay, now for Hanna! (waves hand using other worldly powers to make Hanajima appear)

Hanajima: Hello, all. (she knows why she's here. She can even read waves over the internet…scary, right?)

Kanomi-Fro: Which one would you prefer?

Hanajima: The first one (steps into dressing room that's apparently been out of view until now, and emerges looking almost the same)

Naked Pink Afro Dude: NO FAIR! SHE DIDN'T DO IT!

Hanajima: Yes, I did. (points to feet where she's wearing pink and black polka dot flip flops. Sorry, but I'm afraid that's all you can get out of her)

Kanomi-Fro: Now for Akito! (waves hand making Akito appear instantly)

Akito: (hugging Mogeta plushie) What am I doing here?

Naked Pink Afro Dude: (jumping towards the plushie and removing it) I LOVE IT! WHERE'D YOU GET IT?

Akito: (angered from embarrassment and lost plushie) A catalogue… and seriously, what am I doing here?

Kanomi-Fro: You're under orders to dress like a woman.

Akito: NO! I LIKE MY MAN CLOTHES!

Kanomi-Fro: I'm sorry, but it has to be done. (waves hand making magic cloud of dust form around Akito, and magically turn her kimono into Little Bo Peep's dress)

Everyone: (shocked by the horrendous sight)

Naked Pink Afro Dude: YIPPEE! NOW FOR YOUR DEEPEST DARKEST SECRET!

Akito: Wha…okay, if you'll let me go after this… I'M A WOMAN!

Everyone else that's not Tohru, Shigure, Hatori, Kureno, or a manga reader: OHMIGAWD!

Tohru, Shigure, Hatori, & Kureno: (fake gasps after everyone else's)

Kanomi-Fro: Okay, you're free now. (waves hand making Akito disappear. The Sohma characters and Tohru are the only ones who are present the whole time. The rest have to be imported by my poor hand.)

Yuki and Machi: (coming back from date, looking dazed in a happy goofy way)

Kanomi-Fro: Oh, yes, Yuki, do you like flavored lip gloss?

Yuki: (looks at Machi) I do now!

Machi: (jabs him in rib)

Kanomi-Fro: Time for the next one! From…cocochan94:

_hahahhahahaha ok Dare for Yuki to say he's a queer-o-sexual to his fan club girls or else for truth ask him if he WERE a queer-o-sexual then who would he go out with? Love you Yuki...don't hurt me...lol_

Kanomi-Fro: Which one?

Yuki: Eh…the second one. (not wanting to be ripped to shreds by angry fangirls)

Naked Pink Afro Dude: WHO WOULD IT BE?!? (now attempting to snort sugar)

Yuki: Er…um…Mana?

(Mana is a cross-dressing Japanese musician. He was in Malice Mizer and is currently in Moi dix Mois. Great music… Point being, he really does look like a woman if you don't already know he's a man.)

Hanajima: You listen to Mana's music?

Yuki: Um…yeah…why?

Hanajima: Oh, nothing, it's just that I heard he's a queer-o-sexular…your waves have something to do with ferrets…could you be…

Yuki: I AM NOT A QUEER-O-SEXULAR!

Machi: (still sort of dazed and confused) YOU BETTER NOT BE!

Okay, this one's from _Mary2013_:

_NO YUKI! DONT DIE, well, at least dont get shot in the face, that way i can take ur dead head(hey that rimes) and stare at it for all of eternity!  
kk anywayz, i guess since im here i should submit a truth or dare shudnt i...hm...  
I dare Kyo to kiss a girl who suddenly pops up out of nowhere named Mary, and for truth ask if he's a necrophiliac(like InuYasha) hehe _

Kanomi-Fro: (uses magic hand to make this "mary" appear, as a British nanny appears from magic cloud of smoke. Haha. You didn't say _which_ mary!)

Ayame: Mary Poppins, it's Mary Poppins!

Kyo: (turning green) do I have to?

Kanomi-Fro: (looming over him, surrounded by dark clouds, speaking in stern voice) **yes, you do.**

Kyo: (sighs, getting up and kissing the nanny on the cheek as quickly as possible) Bleck! There, it's over with! And, NO, I don't like to screw around with dead things…

Yuki: (scrunches nose) That's disgusting…

Kanomi-Fro: Okay, we're almost done! This one's from…ninja-nitomi:

_omg I just read your first 2 chapters! ok, my Q is for Ayame. what exactly are men fanticeis and are you gay? for truth... uh... I dare you to cut your hair, and don't tell me that story about you being a prince._

Ayame: Man fantasies? Are you referring to the point of my marvelous romantic fantasy shop?!? Well, you see, in every man's heart, there's a dream blossoming of romance and I like to help men realize those dreams! And, I'm not gay… I'M A QUEER-O-SEXULAR!

Kanomi-Fro: Okay… (raises scissors to Ayame's head, about to cut off large portion of hair)

Naked Pink Afro Dude: NOOOOOO! DON'T TRIM GOLDY-LOCKS! (Leaps dramatically, trying to grasp scissors, but barely missing just as hair is snipped off.)

Ayame: NOOOO! I'M HIDEOUS! DON'T LOOK AT ME! Oh, who will ever love me now?

Random ferret: (emerging from darkness that's been unapparent until now) I WILL! I love you for who you are, Ayame! THE BALD AND THE BEAUTIFUL!

Ayame: (crying happy tears) I'M SO HAPPY! (picking up ferret and running into sunset)

Kanomi-Fro: Okay…well, please review for more.

(I guess that could've been more random, so I'm sorry, but I just finished a chapter to the most depressing story I've ever wrote (on another account) and it's hard to get my funny gears going right afterwards.)


	4. Incest and beer!

**Kanomi-Fro: Three reviews this time! Wh-hoo! **

**Naked Pink Afro Dude: (eating Momiji's special German chocolate) IT'S DELICIOUS!**

**Kanomi-Fro: Okay…let's get this show on the road! **

**Tohru: Can I read them this time?!? **

**Kanomi-Fro: Uh-huh. (hands piece of paper over) **

**Tohru: Oh, thank you so much! This one is from…**_**Devil-neko-onee-chan**___

Ha!Ha! Queer-O-Sexular, funny!  
Kyo, I dare you to get drunk and lock yourself in a closet with Tohru!!  
Shigure, I dare you to shoot your right ear off.  
Hatori, Are you Queer-O-Sexular like Ayame and Shigure?

Kanomi-Fro: (rummaging through pockets) Ah, here we are! (hands Kyo bottle of beer to get drunk with)

Hatori: You keep a bottle on hand? That's not very healthy for someone so young…

Kanomi-Fro: (lighting cigarettes with Shigure) I'm troubled, okay?!? (breaks out into hysterical tears)

Shigure: (hands Kanomi-Fro cigarette while looking sympathetic)

Kanomi-Fro: (taking puffs in between wails)

Hatori: Shigure, you're horrible. (disgusted that he would supply a child with such unhealthiness)

Shigure: (puts comforting arm around intoxicated child) No, I'm helpful.

Yuki: Can we get on with this already?

Kyo: (holding bottle uncomfortably) Um…can she really make me intoxicate myself?

Kanomi-Fro: (waves hand signaling to proceed) Yes, carry on with the booze.

Kyo: (sighs, then gulps down bottle, then begins looking quite dazed and confused)

Kanomi-Fro: (seizing Kyo and Tohru before they can protest and shoving them into closet) Well, then! That takes care of… (coughs from cigarette)… that! (hitting chest while still coughing)

Ayame: Now for Shigure to shoot his ear off!

Shigure: How could you be supportive of something so self-destructive? Towards me of all people!

Ayame: (lying royally on soufa) I'm bored.

Kanomi-Fro: (rummages through pockets again, then retrieves pistol) Here you go, 'Gure!

Hatori: You keep a gun, too?

Kanomi-Fro: No, I keep three. That's why you're stuck here, remember?

Naked Pink Afro Dude: What a world, what a world! (on knees shouting to up the heavens)

Shigure: Can she really make me shoot myself?

Naked Pink Afro Dude: DO IT!

Kanomi-Fro: I have an idea! (grabs gun)

Shigure: So, I don't have to do it, then?

Kanomi-Fro: Nope! I'll do it for you!

Shigure: (closes eyes as Kanomi-Fro tries to aim the gun at his ear)

Kanomi-Fro: (pulls trigger, hitting Shigure's ear)

Shigure: Oh, gawd! Oh, shit! It…it doesn't hurt. (looks to ground and sees bloody ear lying there) why doesn't it hurt? HAVE I BEEN PARALIZED?!? (new ear pops into place where old ear was)

Naked Pink Afro Dude: (pointing accusing finger towards Shigure) WITCH! WITCH!

Shigure: (not very surprised) Hm…I didn't know I could do that!

Ayame: Another aspect of the curse, perhaps?

Kanomi-Fro: No, it's just so people won't imagine Shigure all weird looking for the rest of the story.

0000000In the closet (Ooooo, that sounds creepy!)000000000

Tohru: Eh…um…so…

Kyo: (drinking bottle of beer) so… (drinking more and becoming slightly "out of it")

Tohru: What are we supposed to do in here?

Kyo: (drunk, but still blank faced at her ignorance) Want some? (offers rest of beer)

Tohru: (curiously accepting bottle) I've never had beer before!

Kyo: (wondering where he is) Well, now's your chance, doll-face.

Tohru: (staring at beer) I'm not sure I should be doing this…

Kyo: Isn't this something 'your mom would've done'?

Tohru: (thinks for a moment) You know, I think it is! (happily gulps down alcoholic beverage)

0000after they're both drunk00000

Kyo: I really like you, Tohru…

Tohru: I really like you, too, Kyo.

Kyo: (wiggles eyebrows pervertedly) Well, we're all alone…

Tohru: (somehow knows what he's implying, and agrees)

00000after they're "finished"0000000

Tohru: (amazingly level-headed) Hey, Kyo?

Kyo: (happily dazed) Yeah?

Tohru: You didn't turn into an animal while we were…y'know…

Kyo: (was too drunk to notice) I wonder why…

Tohru: (sits up, suddenly sober and sharp) I FOUND IT! I FOUND THE CURE TO THE CURSE!

Kyo: The "cure"? It's not an illness…

Tohru: That doesn't matter! DRINKING BREAKS THE CURSE! You all just have to drink a lot of beer!

Kyo: Why didn't I think of that? We just all have to stay drunk!

Tohru: HOORAY!

Kyo: Wanna "celebrate"?

00000000back in the main area000000000000000

Kanomi-Fro: (finishing third cigarette) Time for our next dare! This one's from spiffyhilary212:

whe! ok, so I'm absolutely in love with kyo, so i'm daring YUKI!

Dare: I dare you to french kiss ayame in a maids dres!  
Truth: Have you ever had sexual fantasies?

yay!

Yuki: That's incestuous!

Ayame: I agree…that's even too taboo for me.

Kanomi-Fro: (retrieves gun from pocket and points it at Yuki and Ayame) Put.The.Dress.On.NOW. And don't disobey me!

Shigure: BAHAHA! (wipes tear from eye) This oughta be good!

Ayame: (already has maids dress on) I'm being forced to put a cosplay outfit on and someone I'm related to is about to do things to me…this seems so strangely familiar!

Yuki: (ties blindfold over eyes and moves closer to Ayame) Pretend it's Mana, pretend it's Mana… (moves in and…y'know. It's too repulsive for me to write out, sorry.)

Everyone (except Shigure, who is laughing his head off and seems to be getting some sort of sick pleasure from it): YUCK!

Yuki: (Moves away quickly, about to barf) If Akito didn't scar me for life, that sure as hell will!

Kanomi-Fro: Don't complain so much…I even let you wear a blindfold!

Ayame: You didn't let me wear a blindfold!

Kanomi-Fro: (shrugs) You didn't ask.

Ayame: Can I please take the dress off now?

Kanomi-Fro: (looms over him with giant ceramic doll and scary expression on face) NO.

Kanomi-Fro: (gains back creepily joyful composure) Anyway!….Yuki, have you ever had sexual fantasies?

Yuki: Isn't that a bit personal?

Kanomi-Fro: Don't question the lady with the ceramic doll!

Yuki: (sighs) Fine…maybe…well, I'd like to see you try not having a couple dirty thoughts knowing you can't ever lose your virginity!

Shigure: (nods sympathetically) 'Tis a tragic fate we must face…

Haru (I don't know why he hasn't been there up till now…I guess he wasn't called on): (holding Rin by waist) HAHAHA! I already lost mine!

Rin: (jabs Haru in rib)

Kanomi-Fro: So, it comes down to doing it with no one or doing it with your cousin?

Hatori: (nods sadly)

Kanomi-Fro: (crying and wailing) THAT'S SO SAAAAD!!!!

Haru: HEY, SHE'S NOT MY COUSIN!

Kanomi-Fro: Then what is she? She has to be related to you, somehow…

Haru: (looks thoughtful) I don't know, actually…Takaya never said…

Kanomi-Fro: Well, why would she want to point out that one of the main couples in her manga is incestuous?

Haru: Good point…maybe it's best not to know, anyway…I might as well read the next one while I'm here…This one's from Mary2013:

kk, i hav ANOTHER. grrz kan-chan. ok i dare Kyo(or Inu)(or Haru) oh, ya Haru to kiss Mary2013(ME) or admit he thinx of tohru as his mom. grrz, hehe im one effed up fangirl and i knw it

Rin: Haru's not kissing her…

Kanomi-Fro: (knows with other worldly powers that she means for YUKI to admit he thinks of Tohru as a mom, even though she wrote in a confusing and somewhat indecipherable manner) Yuki…she says you have to say what you think of Tohru.

Yuki: I think of her as a Mother.

Kanomi-Fro: Well…that was entertaining…anyways, tune in next time!

Tohru: WAIT! (returns from closet with Kyo, both looking dazed and have messed up hair) I know how to break the curse!

Hatori: (head perks up) How?

Tohru: (still up-beat) We have to drink! (pulls twelve pack out of nowhere)

Everyone in the zodiac: (grabs a can of beer and drinks)

Kyo: (reaches for beer, only to find empty box) Where's mine?

Tohru: Oh, I'm sorry. I only got twelve…I forgot there were really thirteen…

Kyo: (looks angrily up towards heavens and apparently trying to speak to God) You won't let me go to the feast, you won't let me be in the zodiac, WHY CAN'T YOU LET ME DRINK? A FUCKIN TWELVE PACK? DON'T TELL ME THAT WAS A COINCIDENCE!

Momiji: (hugs Tohru and doesn't turn into rabbit) SHE'S RIGHT! SHE'S RIGHT! IT WORKS! IT WORKS! I'M JUST A PERSON! I'M NOT AN ANIMAL!

Kanomi-Fro: (looks at Hatori) I told you alcohol was the answer to all your problems, but nooooo, you wouldn't listen…

Naked Pink Afro Dude: (runs around flashing a memory-erasing camera in everyone's faces) IT NEVER HAPPENED! THIS CANNOT BE DISCOVERED! IT WILL RUIN THE PLOT-LINE!

Momiji: What happened just now? Why is there beer in my hand?

Haru: Who needs a reason? When life hands you mysterious beer, you drink it!

Kanomi-Fro: (rummages through pockets and retrieves a twenty four pack) Now we can all get drunk!

Everyone else: Yaaayyy!

Tohru: You, too, Kyo-kun! You get to get drunk, too, Kyo-Kun! He gets to be a part of the zodiac for once…

Kyo: (near tears) I've never been so happy…

Kanomi-Fro: (stumbles drunkenly over, holding bottle of beer, blocking view of everyone else) Tune in…next…evil mushrooms…(falls to ground, having strange delusions run through mind)


	5. Demoniacs and the Mafia!

**FICKLE PICKLES WILL EAT YOU ALL! **

**THEN THROW YOU UP, AND THEN EAT YOU AGAIN!**

**BWAHAHAHAHAAAAA! (thrusts chest back and forth as he laughs maniacally)**

**Kanomi-Fro: Please calm down, Hatori…**

**Shigure: Hatori's possessed by an evil spirit right now. Just try to ignore it. **

**Kyo: How the hell are we supposed to ignore **_**that**_

**Hatori: (pushing nose as he makes beeping noises)**

**Kanomi-Fro: But, I thought he was **_**already**_** possessed by an evil spirit! **

**Yuki: He's possessed by a sea horse spirit.**

**Momiji: ARE SEA HORSES EVIL?!? (glances suspiciously at fish tank in corner of room that just happens to have a sea horse in it)**

**Tohru: (In usual way overly-peppy voice) We all have room for more evil spirits inside us! It's not nice to leave people out…**

**Hatori: (clucking and pecking at ground like a chicken)**

**Kanomi-Fro: Um…he's starting to scare me, but…we have to ask Hatori something we forgot to in the last segment. **_**Devil-neko-onee-chan**_** wanted to know if Hatori's a queer-o-sexular. Um…Hatori?**

**Hatori: (stops clucking. Looks up at the sky with evil expression on face and laughs maniacally) I AM! I LOVE ALL THAT DEFIES THE LORD! **

**Yuki: That's the evil spirit in him speaking…**

**Ayame: Queer-o-sexuality doesn't defy the Lord! That's so narrow-minded of you, Tori-san…**

**Kanomi-Fro: No, I'm afraid ferret-humping does indeed defy the Lord…**

**Ayame: (holding ferret in his arms, while sobbing uncontrollably) THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH OUR RELATIONSHIP! OUR LOVE IS ALL THAT MATTERS!**

**Hatori: (looks ferret up and down, pervertedly, as if checking out) Hey, there. Come here often?**

**Ferret: Hmmph! I ONLY HAVE LOVE FOR MY AYAME!**

**Ayame: (holds ferret affectionately) You're the sweetest ferret I've ever been with!**

**Ferret: There've been other ferrets before me? (sounds hurt) **

**Kanomi-Fro: Before we get into an emotional break-down, let's get on with the dares and so forth. This one's from: **_**Maya901**___

_**lol hehe so funny!**_

ha so i've a dare for Shigure and Yuki.  
I dare them to play paper, cutters, rock and whom ever wins...has to kiss me!  
the truth is...for tohru and it's has she ever wanted to be a bad ass like he mother was(no lieing)

**Kanomi-Fro: Yuki, Shigure, proceed with the game. **

**Yuki: (after doing hand motions with Shigure) Shigure wins…**

**Shigure: OH, YEAH! **

**Kyo: I swear that pervert has a lolita complex…**

**Kanomi-Fro: (uses other-worldly powers to make Maya901 appear out of nowhere)**

**Maya901: (looks scared and confused) TOTO! WE'RE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE!**

**Shigure: (removes glasses dramatically and speaks in low, serious voice) I'm afraid you never were in Kansas to begin with, Dorothy. **

**Maya901: I could've sworn I was in Kansas…**

**Shigure: (holds her shoulders lovingly and suddenly acquires sexy latin accent) I've always loved you, senorita. (kisses longer than necessary, as sudden wind gust out of nowhere makes their hair blow.) **

**Kanomi-Fro: Well, it's time for Maya to leave now! **

**Maya901: (being dragged out door by Kanomi-Fro's henchmen that came out of nowhere) NO! I'll return to you, my love! **

**Shigure: Just click your heels three times and you'll return! **

**Maya901: (clinging onto side of door to finish talking, as henchmen struggle to pull her off by feet) I'LL BE BACK! I PROMISE! (fades of into distance, being dragged away by henchmen)**

**Yuki: Um…can we get on with this? **

**Kanomi-Fro: Yes, yes. Now, Tohru, have you ever wanted to be a bad-ass like your mom? **

**Tohru: Well, um…My mom was great, but… **

**Shigure: Haven't you ever wanted to punch anybody? (waves face in front of Tohru) **_**Surely**_** you want to punch **_**me.**_

**Tohru: (waves arms and shakes head frantically, while battling with voices inside head) N-no! Never! I…(suddenly grows red and angry in face, then pops Shigure one, looking quite pleased with self.) YES! I'M **_**ALREADY**_** A BAD-ASS! I've been leading a secret life from you all! I'm actually a hit-man for the Japanese mafia! **

**Yuki: I knew she couldn't be making that much money from a janitor's job…**

**Kyo: I knew she couldn't really be that perky…**

**Naked Pink Afro Dude: (sleeping soundly on floor while hugging sugar lump. That's why he hasn't really been in this one.)**

**Tohru: (looks evil, then returns to normal perky self) I mean…I just get coffee for everybody in the Japanese mafia! I think it's good to help everybody! **

**Kanomi-Fro: Well, that's as much as we can get out of her without completely ruining the plot-line! Time for our next one! This one's from (glad to have you back!) **_**Devil-neko-onee-chan: **_

**Ha HA!  
I have returned!  
I dare Everyone to re-enact the song 'were all in this togetther' from high school musical!****  
(I HATTE that movie)!!**

Kyo: NNNOOOOOOO! 

**Kanomi-Fro: I'm sorry. You have to be involved, too, Kyo. Everyone has to do it. **

**Ayame: (jumps up and down excitedly) FINALLY, SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE THEATRE! **

**Kyo: You call that piece of shit "theatre"?**

**Ayame: (crying) It's a beautiful musical! How dare you?!? **

**Ferret: Even me?**

**Kanomi-Fro: (nods) It says ****everyone.**** (uses powers to make all of Furuba cast appear.)**

**Tohru: Um…well, it can't be that bad. **

**Kanomi-Fro: (shakes head) But it is. (waves hand, using magical powers to instantly redress all the Furuba men) I've taken the liberty of making all the boys dress up as less-hot versions of Zack Effron.**

**Kyo: GET THESE OFF ME RIGHT NOW! **

**Kanomi-Fro: No. It ****amuses**** me. Now are we all ready? **

**Hanajima: You can't make ****me****sing**

**Kanomi-Fro: Oh, but, I can. Now, one, two, three, four! (waves hand, forcing everyone to sing) **

**Everyone (even the ferret): **

Together, together, together everyone  
Together, together, come on lets have some fun  
Together, were there for each other every time  
Together, together come on lets do this right

Kanomi-Fro: You better do this right, assholes!

Kyo: What the hell? Why me?!?

Kanomi-Fro: SING.

Kyo:

Here and now it's time for celebration  
To finally figure it out  
That all our dreams have no limitations   
That's what it's all about

Kanomi-Fro: (points to Yuki)

Yuki: WHAT? You're giving me the girl part?

Kanomi-Fro: I think it's fair, now SING, DAMMIT!

Yuki: (in surprisingly high girlish voice)

Everyone is special in their own way  
We make each other strong  
Were not the same  
Were different in a good way  
Together's where we belong

Momiji: (seems to be enjoying Zack Effron costume) Hee hee! Yuki did that really well!

Yuki: SHUTUP!

Everyone:

We're all in this together  
Once we know  
That we are  
We're all stars  
And we see that  
We're all in this together  
And it shows  
When we stand  
Hand in hand  
Make our dreams come true

Together, together, together everyone   
Together, together, come on lets have some fun  
Together, were there for each other every time  
Together together come on lets do this right

Hanajima: (slowly, in a deep, manish, opera-ey voice)

We're all here  
And speaking out in one voice   
Were going to rock the house  
The party's on now everybody make some noise  
Come on scream and shout

**Ayame: (in womanly, sassy, Diva-like voice)**

We've arrived becuase we stuck together  
Champions one and all

**Everyone (miserably): **

We're all in this together  
Once we know  
That we are  
We're all stars  
And we see that  
We're all in this together  
And it shows  
When we stand  
Hand in hand  
Make our dreams come

We're all in this together  
When we reach   
We can fly  
Go in sight  
We can make it  
We're all in this toghether  
Once we see  
There's a chance  
That we have   
And we take it

Wild cats sing along  
You know really got it going on  
Wild cats in the house  
Everybody say it now   
Wild cats everywhere  
Wave your hands up in the air  
That's the way we do it  
Lets get to it  
Time to show the world 

We're all in this together   
Once we know  
That we are  
We're all stars   
And we see that  
We're all in this together  
And it shows   
When we stand  
Hand in hand  
Make our dreams come

We're all in this together  
When we reach  
We can fly  
Go in sight   
We can make it  
We're all in this together  
Once we see   
There's a chance  
That we have  
And we take it

Wild cats everywhere  
Wave your hands up in the air  
That's the way we do it  
Let's get to it  
Come on everyone

Hatori: (suddenly ridden of evil spirit) That was depressing…

Ayame: How so? I liked it…

Yuki: I don't think dreams coming true has anything to do with people who turn into animals…

Kanomi-Fro: Aw, that's so sad!

Kakeru (yes, Kakeru is included): (rocking back and forth on the floor, while covering ears) IS IT OVER, YET?!?

Kanomi-Fro: Yes, it's all over now. Which means that you non-main characters have no more purpose here. (uses magical powers to get rid of all but the Sohmas and Tohru) Okay, well, it's time for the next one! From: cocochan94 (& don't worry, you can submit as many dares as you like):

hahaha you're so random. OK i have returned and am hoping im able to post a second request.  
Dare: I want Yuki and Kyo in the closet together for a long time (P.S the closet has to have surveillance so everyone can see what happens) Please dont hunt me down D

Truth: If Akito could be any animal of the zodiac what would it be?

Kyo: NO! I am NOT going into a closet with that damn rat!

Yuki: Likewise…

Kanomi-Fro: (sighs) How many times have I told you? (evilly looms over the two, once again, with glass unicorn) I. (sigh) Fine. Just hurry up and get it over with.

Kanomi-Fro: Thank you for the cooperation. Now get in the closet. (shoves the two into small closet that has a small camera hidden in the roof. And, no, they don't know the camera's there. Of course) Now, let's all watch! (ushers everyone over to sit in front of big-screen-TV where we all get a good picture and consume popcorn.)

Yuki: How long do we have to stay in here?

Kyo: Hell if I know. Probably until something entertaining happens.

Yuki: Something entertaining, eh?… Kyo, I've always loved you!

Kyo: I'LL KILL YOU, DAMN RAT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!? QUITE PLAYING YOUR EVIL MIND GAMES ON ME! I HATE YOU!

Yuki: But I looove you, Kyo.

Shigure: I KNEW IT! I KNEW YUKI WAS GAY!

Kanomi-Fro: We all knew it. The name of the series is Fruits Basket, after all. Now shutup and quit pointing out the obvious.

Kyo: (becoming veeery angry) STOP IT, YOU BASTARD!

Yuki: KYO! How could you call me that after we've had a secret relationship for so long? (I think Yuki saw the camera…)

Kyo: What the hell are you talking about?!? I'LL RIP YOU TO SHREDS, IF YOU DON'T QUIT IT!

Yuki: Kyo, my love! Are you denying our relationship?

Kyo: (attempts to strangle Yuki)

Yuki: (turns strangling attempt into hug) I love you, too, my darling Kyo.

Kyo: YUKI, YOU SON OF A BITCH! **STOP IT!** STOP IT RIGHT NOW!

Yuki: Fine…but, I won't give up, Kyo… I wonder if that's entertaining enough for them? LET US OUT!

(a few minutes pass and nothing happens)

Kanomi-Fro: Well, let's just leave them. Now, to ask Akito a question or something. (waves hand, using blah blah blah, to make Akito appear)

Akito: (still hugging Mogeta plushie) What?!? Why won't you people leave me alone?!?

Tohru: We'll leave you alone in just a minute, Akito-san! We just wanted to ask you something.

Akito: HURRY UP!

Shigure: Yes, yes. If you could be any animal of the zodiac, which one would it be?

Akito: …The bunny, because everyone loves bunnies, and then NO ONE WOULD LEAVE ME!

Kanomi-Fro: Well, that's about as much bitchin' and moanin' and groanin' as I can take for one chapter.

Ferret: Can I say it?!? Pleeaaaase!

Ayame: He's been a very good ferret…

Kanomi-Fro: (sigh) yeah, whatever.

Ferret: (does Mexican hat dance a few times) TUNE IN NEXT TIME, MOFOS!

(is it funny that I always picture the ferret with a Spanish accent?)


	6. TreeLicking and Speedos!

Kanomi-Fro: We are BACK! I'm just super-sorry it's taken so long to update! We've been cleansing Hatori of his evil spirit, which takes a surprising amount of time. 

Hatori: (eye twitches and dark clouds surround head) I.WASN'T.POSSESSED.EVER. 

Tohru: (cowers in corner) Um…sure, Hatori. We know that…

Momiji: He's in _denial!_ Yup, it's _denial_, alright!

Hatori: (picks up Momiji by collar of shirt. Clouds around head get even darker.) THERE'S NOTHING TO BE IN DENIAL _ABOUT_.

Naked Pink Afro Dude: (attempting to hula-hoop with a fruit loop) 

Kanomi-Fro: Okay…let's get on with the dares! Our first is from: Darkest Midnights'. Her dare says: 

_Hi!_

Hello everyone!  
I have so many EVIL-- I mean... nice dares.  
I dare Kyo to admit his love from Yuki and then Kyo has to kiss Yuki on the lips. He must do it or he will be killed.  
I dare Yuki to... KISS... Tohru, Kyo and... Hatori!  
I dare Yuki to admit he loves... Kyo and he knows he wants to... do something with him that is just plain wrong.  
I dare Tohru to kiss... Yuki in front of Kyo.  
I dare Kyo to take off his shirt and do the chicken dance in front of everyone.  
I dare... Yuki to kiss... hmm... let's see... how 'bout Momiji!

Darkest Midnights'

Kanomi-Fro: I'm just incredibly pleased by how much yaoi that one had in it. 

(yaoi means boy/boy)

Tohru: I know! (doesn't she seem like one that would secretly be into yaoi?)

Kanomi-Fro: My favorite is FAKE! (that's an old yaoi anime, a founding _father_ of yaoi.)

Tohru: Mine is Gravitation! (a very cute yaoi anime)

Momiji: Oh, oh! That's mine, too! 

Kyo: Dude, that show is gay. 

Shigure: That's the _point_, Kyonkichi. 

Kyo: (vein rises) HEY! Don't _call_ me that! 

Yuki: (attempting to escape from the room while everyone argues about yaoi and Kyo's stupidity)

Momiji: (in very loud voice) Where are you going, Yuki? This is fun! 

(arguing stops while everyone turns to Yuki, who has his hand on doorknob) 

Ayame: (points to Yuki and speaks in really slow, deep voice, as mouth moves in slow-mo) GEEET HIIIIM! 

Machi: (runs over to Yuki and tackles him(somehow without _hugging_ him) before he can leave) 

Yuki: (being held down on floor) Machi…how could you? 

Machi: (looks somewhat ashamed, and looks away) Even I have needs, Yuki. 

Yuki: I don't _satisfy_ you? 

Machi: _Every_ girl has _yaoi_ needs…

Momiji: And me! And me! 

Machi: _And_ Momiji… 

Kanomi-Fro: Okay. Well, let's get to the much-anticipated yaoi! (turns to Kyo who is pawing walls, desperately trying to find a way out) Kyo! Say you love Yuki, then kiss him! 

Kyo: (turns red) NO! 

Kanomi-Fro: (smacks Kyo over head with Elton John record) DO IT, YOU SWINE! 

Naked Pink Afro Dude: (temporarily stops attempting to hula-hoop with fruit-loop) Whoa, man. That was…that was harsh. I mean, up till now it was just threats, but…dude, that was…that was like really scary. 

Kanomi-Fro: I'm sorry, I've just had a terrible week and I've been buried in paperwork.

Shigure: You're only thirteen! What kind of paperwork could that possibly be?

Kanomi-Fro: I'll try to only _imply_ violence from now on. Now…KYO! 

Kyo: (takes deep breath and speak quickly) Yuki, I love you. 

Yuki: (groans, as he's stuck face-down on carpet, being held down by Machi sitting on his back)

Machi: I'm waiting…

Kyo: (gets down on floor and kisses Yuki very quickly) 

Machi: (allows Yuki, who is quite pale, to get up off the floor, but holds his hands behind his back so he has to comply) 

Kanomi-Fro: (puts Scooby-Snack in Machi's mouth) You've been very helpful. Now, Yuki! Go kiss Tohru! 

Machi and Momiji: (groans) There's nothing interesting about another _girl_!

Ayame: Unless it's a ferret! 

Ferret: (gasps) You want a _woman_ ferret? 

Ayame: I thought you _were_ a woman ferret! 

Ferret: No! Why do you think we've been doing it in the—

Kanomi-Fro: DO **NOT** FINISH THAT SENTENCE! Yuki, go kiss Tohru! 

Yuki: Eh…sorry, Tohru. 

Tohru: It's okay…we just need to get on with the story already…we're on the frickin fourth page and just the first dare! 

Yuki: (quickly kisses Tohru) 

Tohru: (goes red in face) 

Machi: (quickly returns to grasping Yuki's arms and forces him over to Kyo) We're waiting…

Yuki: I hate you. (though, he uses tongue when he kisses Kyo) 

Kanomi-Fro: Um…that's enough, now…YOU CAN STOP, YUKI!

Machi and Momiji: NO! DON'T MAKE IT STOP!

Kyo: (runs away) NO! NO MORE! (sobbing hysterically) Why does everyone love KyoxYuki pairings so damn much? 

Kanomi-Fro: Because it's twisted and unexpected…Even though it's been used in fanfics like a million times now. Now, Yuki go kiss Hatori. 

Machi: (pushes Yuki over to Hatori and places arms around him, while grinning deviously) That's right, Yun-Yun…oh, yeah…get in there…

Yuki: (begins kissing Hatori) 

Hatori: (just stares blankly ahead over Yuki's head and remains motionless) 

Kanomi-Fro: Okay, YUKI! You can STOP, now! Now admit you love Kyo. And also that you want to do him. 

Kyo: (still sobbing hysterically, while mumbling to self like an insomniac) 

Yuki: (walks over without having to be pushed by Machi) I love you, Kyo…and I want to do unholy things with you. (stares a moment, growing quite pleased with how much it seems to bother him.) Oh, yeah! I want to put my—in your—and then, we're gonna—all night long!

Machi: YES! YES! YES! 

Yuki: (pulls out of kiss at the disruption, after being seriously into it.) I lost it. You just scared the gay away. 

Machi: (begins sobbing on ground, next to Kyo) No…why, oh, why…? 

Kanom-Fro: (puts on serious face and queues dramatic music) Where has the yaoi gone? 

Momiji: It went strait up your—oh, I was about to say something _dirty_! I think I caught what Hatori had (speaking of evil spirit as if it was a virus). 

Kyo: (gets up, removes shirt, and begins doing chicken dance without putting up a fight, but while sobbing all the while) I don't want to be a chicken…(sobs and squats)…I don't wanna be a duck…(sobs more)…so I shake butt…(sobs some more) 

Kanomi-Fro: This is just sad…well, Yuki, time to kiss Momiji! 

Naked Pink Afro Dude: (sobbing on floor, while trying to fit into fruit loop) Why won't it fit on me? AM I FAT? _AM_ I?

Yuki: Why ME? Of all people, why ME? (allows Machi to pull him over to Momiji, and kisses Momiji) He tastes of sugar…

Kanomi-Fro: Well, all of this brings us to our next question from miley1006! She wants to know if Yuki's gay! 

Yuki: (makes smidgin sign with fingers) Just a _little_ bit… 

Machi: (snuggles up next to Yuki, somehow not hugging him) He's perfect for me…

Yuki: (looks content, but eyes Hatori deviously) 

Kanomi-Fro: And she wants Tohru to lick a tree with Kyo. 

Kyo: (stops sobbing, and looks up hopefully) Does that mean I can put my shirt back on?

Kanomi-Fro: (shakes head) I'm sorry, the shirt has to stay off for your fangirls' visual enjoyment. But you _can_ stop dancing, now. 

Naked Pink Afro Dude: (still attempting to squeeze fruit loop over afro) WHY DON'T IT FIT? _WWWHHHYYYYYYYY?_

Tohru: Will it make you **happy** if I lick a tree? I'll lick a tree if that makes you happy! 

Naked Pink Afro Dude: (drops fruit-loop and jumps up) IT WILL MAKE ME _UBER_ HAPPY IF YOU LICK A TREE, **LITTA****GIRL**!

Tohru: (runs over to small potted tree inside the room and begins licking) KYO, GET OVER HERE! MAKE THAT POOR, NAKED, PINK-AFRO-ED MAN HAPPY!

Kyo: Fine…(shirtlessly begins licking tree alongside Tohru) 

Naked Pink Afro Dude: (looks sickly happy and contented, watching them lick tree)

Kanomi-Fro: Okay, you guys can continue doing that while we move along to the next dare. AngelIvy22 wants Momiji to go around hugging everyone, and wants to know if Kyo has ever been in love before Tohru. 

Kyo: (looks up from tree-licking and then looks really dazed and starts laughing) No, man! I wanted to kick everyone else's ass!

Shigure: Can someone get high from licking a tree…?

Yuki: (watches Tohru start laughing and stumbling around, too) I guess they can…

Momiji: (going around room hugging everyone) YAY! 

Kanomi-Fro: (uses other-worldly powers to make AngelIvey22 appear) 

Momiji: (glomps AngelIvy22) She smells like apples! 

Kanomi-Fro: It's a mystery…all the readers of this manga spontaneously start to smell like fruit at some point. 

AngelIvey22: (smiles mischeviously) That's not why… 

Kanomi-Fro: I'm afraid AngelIvey22 has to leave now. We're moving along to the next dare. 

Momiji: (waves goodbye to AngelIvey) COME BACK SOOOON! 

Kanomi-Fro: Okay, Redrose8520 wants Shigure to get in a closet in a speedo with her. 

Shigure: YES! FINALLY! SOMEONE WHO'S _WILLING_! (pulls off clothes, except for a pre-readied zebra-striped speedo beneath everything) 

Redrose8520: (magically appears out of nowhere) LET'S GET TO THE CLOSET! 

Shigure: HELLZ YEAH! 

Redrose8520 and Shigure: (run to closet, shut door behind them. Thumping and banging noises come from closet, as well as a few muffled groans.) 

Kanomi-Fro: That's disturbing in so many ways…And she wanted Kyo to know that we don't hate you, we just hate your gayness. 

Kyo: (stops licking tree and looks around dazedly) POWA TO THE PEOPLE! 

Tohru: (also pauses tree-licking and raises fist in the air) POWA! 

Naked Pink Afro Dude: (runs over to them and puts arms around their shoulders) BRETHERIN! WELCOME, FELLOW HIPP-AYS!

Kanomi-Fro: Yes, yes. We all love hippies. Now, Hatori, Pisces12 wants you to wear something other than your suit and to cut your fringe. 

Hatori:…? I don't even know if there's anything under the suit! I've never been drawn without it! 

Shigure: (pokes head out of closet, with messed up hair, as quieter banging noises go off in backround) Are you saying you don't know if you have any— 

Kanomi-Fro: I'm sick of cutting everybody off before they say dirty stuff! 

Shigure: You just did it again…

Kanomi-Fro: (throws magic marker at Shigure's head) 

Shigure: (shuts door before it can hit him and banging and thumping noises with Redrose resume) 

Kanomi-Fro: Hatori, just take off your clothes. 

Hatori: I've waited so long for a woman to say that to me…why must she be underaged? (dramatically falls to knees and yells to skies) WHYYYYY?

Naked Pink Afro Dude: (sneak attacks Hatori from behind and rips off shirt, and cuts fringe off shirt)

(I'm sorry if that was confusing, I don't really know what a fringe is, and I assumed it was something on the collar of his shirt or something)

Momiji: (points to Hatori) HE'S JUST A FLOATING HEAD! _WIIIIIITTCCHHHH!_ HATORI'S A _WIIIIIITTTTCCCHHH!_

Hatori (looks down and sees that there's nothing between his neck and his pants) AAAAHHHH! I told you there was nothing there! 

Kanomi-Fro: This is quite disturbing…someone give him his shirt back. 

Naked Pink Afro Dude: (stuffs upper half of suit into afro, and waves arm under Hatori's head) IT'S AMAZ-Z-ZING! 

Momiji: (dives into afro, with only his legs sticking out, and searches for Hatori's suit) 

Redrose8520: (from inside closet) I AM NOT DOING _THAT_! 

Shigure: (also from inside closet) Aw, come on! 

Redrose8520: NO! That's just unnatural! 

Shigure: And the feather duster _wasn't_? 

Redrose8520: (runs out of closet and out of house (or wherever we're doing this), holding feather duster over "areas") 

Shigure: (emerges from closet, still in speedo. Waves goodbye to Redrose8520) Y'all come back now, ya hear! 

Kanomi-Fro: Okay, we have to go find Hatori's clothes now. 

Shigure: Until next time, kids! Stay fruity. 


End file.
